Want to keep your non-horsey friends?
Then take my advice. Keep most of your horsey habits to yourself, because no matter what you say or how often you try, you won't be able to explain away the things we take for granted once we walk through those barn doors.
Which habits?
There are likely too many to list here, but let's start with the ones below.
You spend more time cleaning your horse and tack and stall and tack box and tacking up than actually ride!
Which may not be a problem if you're like me and enjoy any contact with horses! But really, the Hollywood glamour of riding that steed into the sunset dissolves after a year or two of riding (or even earlier) once you realize all the work that goes into doing anything worth doing with horses!
Every gelding must have regular sheath cleanings!
Never mind getting into the nitty-gritty details of how far your hand goes up the sheath, feeling around for "peanuts", and how you can even talk your wonderful gelding into accepting his spa treatment. All of this is better left unsaid!
You're a dedicated poop inspector.
Well, if you've ever had the misfortune of having had a horse colic (or even watched someone else's horse colic), you know how important the poop patrol can be! In fact, you're likely an expert poop-deciphering detective - but who really needs to know, right?
Your horse matters to you more than your friends.
Well, you really don't want to advertise this around, now, do you? Just because it's true doesn't mean that you should rub it in when hangin' with your fellow humans.
Your horse matters more than your home.
While we're on the topic, let's not forget that it's way more important to clean and organize everything to do with the horse, barn, tack or horse supplies than anything to do with your home. I mean, your home will always be there. So you might as well do what fulfills you first!
You have no issues with eating out of your dirty hands.
Because horse dirt isn't really bad dirt, is it? And after all that work, you're starving! Picking out manure-filled horse feet and then having a sandwich takes more priority than worrying about a little bit of possible bacteria. Do you think they'd understand?
You do your best to not be seen as you stick your hand down your under-clothing!
Because there's hay in there and it scratches! And it happens all the time.
You spend more on your horse's vet bills than your grocery bills.
Well, that goes without saying! You gotta have your priorities straight. Horses first, always.
You can easily lift anything in the 40lb range (feed bags, anyone??).
In general, though, you try not to make a big deal about it. But you sure can be a strong extra hand when needed.
You can, in fact, easily chew gum, tap your head and rub your belly at the same time.
And probably even stand on one leg while you're at it. Because one thing that horse riding does for us is to teach us balance and coordination.
I'm sure you can add lots more to this list. Just post in the comments below!
Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!
