Finding Your Comfortable Un-comfort in Riding

She let out a tiny squeal and from the ear-to-ear grin on her face, we knew she had finally figured out what she had to do to get her horse moving forward.

Photo Credit: NBanaszak Photography

"He feels like he's floating!" she announced gleefully. We knew that was horse-speak for the feeling we all get when something goes right and we experience a new "feel". It is the kind of feeling that we are always aiming for but rarely seem to find.

We celebrated with her, knowing how difficult it can be to coordinate all your body parts to get it right that first time. She was still giggling with glee although her horse had already slowed to a stop, sensing that she couldn't keep all her aids active for much longer than a few strides.

But that first time was all she needed to go at it again.

**********

Many of us can relate to the scene above. Have you ever been in that position -  the one when you finally discovered what it was that you were doing (or weren't doing) that pushed you just over the edge and gave you the breakthrough you were looking for?

Riding can be like that.

You can never become too complacent because if you are not the one spurring (pun!) yourself to newer heights, invariably, your horse will help you along!

Sometimes, people get comfortable enough to forget that they need to keep learning. At times, we might fall into the trap of believing that we are done with learning in riding.

But the truth is that the learning never stops. There is always something more, a different angle, a deeper feeling.

We can't become complacent in the training process of riding - we must ever strive for more, reach higher, try something new. (Click here to tweet that if you know what I mean.)

We must find the un-comfort in our comfort zone.

In yoga, it's called "changing your edge". First, you find the spot that starts to challenge you. Then you back off 5 percent. In this manner, you progressively reach higher while still working within your limits. You continually push yourself out of your comfort zone, but only just enough to make a small improvement.

Set your goals so that you are just THAT little bit uncomfortable.

If you stay in your comfort zone, you will always ride the same way. The same successes will arrive at your door and the same problems will continue to haunt you forever more. Even if you change horses, the same problems will rear their ugly faces again and again, for it isn't the horse that has the difficulty, but you as the rider.

It behooves us to become better riders, on a continual progressive scale that dares us to progress beyond our current means. Although goal setting is a step in that direction, the objectives themselves can get lost during the riding session if something else pops up that attracts our attention.




So it is with careful reflection that you must decide during the ride how to find that small un-comfort that will drive you to improve the horse you have that day.

Try to let go of your idea of success. Instead, focus on the process of the change you are putting into place. Instead of looking for the result, work on the movement step-by-step, and see how the result turns out. If it is not as good as you expected, don't worry. Just try again. You know then that you are still in your un-comfort zone.

If, on the other hand, the result is satisfying, then you know it's time to find the new edge. Once again, identify your (new) comfort zone, then extend it that much further. Then back off 5%. See if the horse can meet your expectations at that new "edge".

And so it goes - new goals, new un-comfort zones, new accomplishments.

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Ready for something completely different? If you liked what you read here, you might be interested in the new Horse Listening Practice Sessions. 

This is NOT a program where you watch other people's riding lessons. Start working with your horse from Day 1.

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Horse Listening Book 4
Click to learn more!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – Book 4: 20-Minute Exercises To Add Variety To Your Riding Routine

Horse Listening Book 4: 20-Minute Exercises To Add Variety To Your Riding Routine is a compilation of the best patterns that have been shared on the Horse Listening Blog. The book is divided into five sections: Warm-Ups, Left and Right, Straightness, Suppleness and Collection. Each section has specific exercises and theory based on its topic.

But there's more!

There is a Special Center Section dedicated to only Transitions - something that we can all work on throughout our riding careers. And finally, scattered throughout the book are chapters that clearly explain theory, technique and skills that can help improve the featured exercises of teach Section.

Available as an eBook or paperback.

If you liked the above article, you may also enjoy these:

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https://www.horselistening.com2012/08/11/horseback-riding-the-yoga-way-practice/

https://www.horselistening.com2012/08/08/riding-is-simple-but-not-easy/

 

 

 

 

23 Ways to Solve the Riding Problem

Got a horseback riding problem? Here are 23 ways to solve the problem.

 

Admit it - you've tried at least a handful of these in your time! (So have I... trust me, I have the T-shirt for many of these "solutions"!)

I'm also quite sure you can think of many other ways to solve the problem.

The message here is not that you shouldn't try some of the strategies above. Of course we should make sure that the equipment fits the horse and there is no underlying physical problem.

We should know if our horse prefers one bit over another. Without a doubt, you might need the help of a friend or a professional throughout the course of your ownership of the horse.

But in the midst of fiddling with the small things, we end up missing out on the bigger picture:

changing ourselves.

The unfortunate part of having to develop our skills is that it takes time. The learning process is slow, strewn with mistakes and less-than-perfects, and at times, even discouraging.

In order to make a true change, we have to dig deep and change our very way of interacting with the horse.

(Click here to tweet that if you agree.)

 

This is not the stuff that happens in a day or two. Forget instant gratification and prepare to stay for the long haul.

We have to persevere, make mistakes, try something new. We must step out of our comfort zones and use new muscles - physically and mentally.

Aside from the physical discomfort, we have to develop our internal characteristics. We learn to let things go and to forgive both our horse and ourselves. We become more humble, less demanding and more persistent. We learn all about developmental stages, both within ourselves as well as our horses.

And perhaps most importantly, we discover what it feels like to stay the course and really struggle with something difficult, seeing our way through the problems to finally finding the solutions.

Only then do we become empowered in the understanding that if we can "find" the change we need within ourselves, the horse will reward us with a positive response.

And by that time, we will be startled to realize that the problem no longer exists!




Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Ready for something completely different? If you liked what you read here, you might be interested in the Horse Listening Practice Sessions. 

This is NOT a program where you watch other people's riding lessons. Start working with your horse from Day 1.

Click here to read more and to join one of the most complete programs on the Internet!

Horse Listening

I don't believe in putting my work behind a paywall. But there are expenses in every venture. If you really liked this article, consider tipping us! Your tip will help me keep producing more riding TIPS (pun!) with free access to everyone. With thanks for reading!

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⭐️⭐️Personally signed books available! Give the best gift for the horse lover in your life (or for yourself! 😉). Send me a message for more information.⭐️⭐️
From the first book in the Horse Listening Collection: Horse Listening, The Book
"There are many reasons why we enjoy riding horses. Maybe one of the most appealing facets of riding is the sense of freedom: freedom from our own limitations, freedom from gravity, freedom to (literally) roam the Earth. Time stands still while we have the privilege of feeling movement from the back of our four-legged friend.
Riding gives us the place to just be.
Of course, there are other purposes too. Some of us revel in the challenge of learning the skills required to becoming a good team member of this unlikely duo. Riding is like no other sport or recreational pursuit simply because of the equine partner that must not only carry us, but also do so effortlessly and gracefully. As we develop our specific skill sets, we also grow as human beings in character, emotional maturity and mental acuity.
But there is one other motivation that drives some of us to persevere in the never-ending learning process that is horseback riding: improving the horse. As your own skills develop, you begin to realize that not only can you meet your own needs through riding, but also that you can even become an instrument of benefit for the horse."
And so begins the book that reflects the most important learning I have had in all of my riding years: that I want to be the best rider I can be for the sake of my horses.
This book is geared toward the rider:
- the rider's motivations
- the essential skills for the rider
- some specific strategies
- solutions to common problems
- and the results: the great horsey moments we get to experience
Along the way, you will find chapters that discuss everything from the seat to the leg aids to the reins, discussions on half-halts, imbalance, halts, straightness and more!
Special in this book are the "In The Ring" sections that give specific suggestions based on the preceding chapters. Take these to the barn to try with your own horse!

Available as an eBook or paperback.

Listening Corner – The Rider

Theme: "The Rider"

________________________________

From Training Strategies For Dressage Riders by Charles deKunffy (1994), p. 95-96

"Because it is based on communication between two living organisms, riding must include not only the rider's 'talking' but even more his 'listening'. A rider's awareness of his horse's mental and physical state, indeed, should determine what and how much he asks of his mount. Therefore, the truly talented riders are recognized as having 'feel,' which depends on the talent for being a living antenna that picks up all communications the horse sends....

A rider should always be fully aware of the horse's well-being and his horse's communications. He must also react to them with knowledge and insight. Knowledge comes by practicing riding, coaching, reading, watching, and discussing. More important, however, is the insight and wisdom gained by empathy toward the horse.... The rider ought to train himself to think the way his horse does."

In case you're wondering, Horse Listening did not model its name or idea from Charles' quote - nothing could be farther from the truth (see our original first post to discover the inspiration for "listening" to horses)! Finding this section from a book of over 200 pages was just another one of those "coincidences" that occur from time to time when everything seems to fall together. In any case, as important as the topic of the post (being an empathic rider) is the fact the the concept of "listening" to horses had already been elaborated upon in 1984, almost 30 years prior to the conception of the Horse Listening blog. So... here we are, reinventing the wheel, although I daresay that it is an important concept to revisit.

____________________________________________________

From:  Balance in Movement: How to Achieve the Perfect Seat by Suzanne Von Dietze (2003), p. 174

"There is really no such thing as the perfect rider or, for that matter, the perfect horse. If we want to make progress, it is of great importance to recognize where some difficulties arise and why. Some problems are not immediately recognizable, but they are a serious nuisance whenever more subtle influence is required. Thus, riders can learn to master the three basic gaits even in the chair seat, but they will never be able to develop quick and sensitive reactions for further influencing the horse because they are always behind the movement....

Riding is a game of balance between the horse and rider. Two living beings should, ideally, find such a degree of common balance that it appears to an observer that they have grown together as one unit. The majestic rider sitting quietly on a horse represents the ideal aesthetic picture of riding. Any layman would be able to recognize a good rider by his calmness. As soon as the rider's influence becomes too obvious, a sense of agitation is created which is visually distracting. The sensitive balance of a horse and rider is endangered."

It is well known that good riding can be easily distinguished by its effortless appearance - in fact, the good ride can be identified by its lack of "excitement" - in the sense that the horse appears to be calm, at ease and confident in what it is being asked to do. A good rider is the one who maintains poise and has the tendency to give the horse the benefit of the doubt. Developing a strong and balanced seat is a prerequisite to being able to influence the horse in a way that enables the horse to perform at its highest potential.

______________________________________________

From: The Complete Training of Horse and Rider In the Principles of Classical Horsemanship, by Alois Podhajsky (1967), p. 211

"The best way to obtain the correct seat, especially for a dressage rider, is longeing without stirrups. During this work, the rider need not pay attention to guiding his horse but can concentrate on controlling his own movements in the various paces. This is the quickest way to achieve the necessary independent seat, if the legs and reins are to be employed as aids and not as a means to regain lost balance. Absolute self-control is the basic requirement for every rider. He must not only be able to control his body but also his temperament. Only then will he be able to make the other creature submit to his will and develop his natural abilities. "

A discussion about riding simply cannot be complete without the mention of lunging to develop the seat and balance. Although it is true that in our time and place - with horses becoming more of a recreational pursuit than a form of expression and art - there is an emphasis on "instant gratification" and achieving (perceived) results sooner than later. Riders new to horses want to get on and "ride", get to a show and win ribbons, and resolve riding problems quickly and with little preparation or background.

However, in this short quote, Podhajsky tackled the two most critical components to becoming an effective rider - first, balance and body control, and second, the social/emotional awareness necessary to bring out the best from the horse.

Although the world around the horse has changed over the years, the horse itself remains essentially the same, and therefore the requirements of riding are essentially unchanged. A rider must be prepared to work hard to acquire the necessary skill, and most importantly, be willing to wait for results.

Not. This. Time.

Here is another writing "practice". Again, I know that there is no real set-up for the story; it's meant to be just one scene. Those of you who know me personally know that although fictionalized, "some" of the scene is also quite autobiographical! Does it ring true for you too??


She walked into the tack room, finding herself bombarded with long-ago smells and textures that had faded into her distant memory. The musty smell of leather coming from the saddle over there on the wall brought her past rushing back to the forefront of her mind. 

The golden glint of the browband on the bridle caught her eye, and then she spotted her horse's name engraved in the brass name plate which was still hanging over the bridle rack. In fancy calligraphy, the embossed letters spelled out his name: "King".

Then she saw it again, for the first time in years. In the far corner was the framed picture of her riding King. The scene came rushing back to her as if it had happened yesterday....

She was leaning forward, grabbing for whatever mane her fingers could grasp. She felt the horse round his back into a ball of energy, about to explode any second. She couldn't tell which way he was going to go. She held her breath while she did everything in her power to calm her body, anticipating the moment of explosion that was surely coming. 

Then they were both in the air, front end high, gravity pulling on her backward with all its might. Time slowed as they hovered mid-air in a seemingly weightless bubble. King's front legs flailed wildly as he went even higher, feeling absolutely vertical, momentarily teetering on the edge of no return.

She had been here before. The next moment might end in searing pain, whiplashed neck and a long stay in hospital flat on her back, unmovable and incapacitated.

Not. This. Time.

With renewed motivation, she fought against that insistent gravity, climbing up toward the horse's head and grabbing now with both arms around his neck. Looking down, she found one spot and planted her gaze on that speck of sand. 

"Down there!" It was all she could think.  Still holding tightly to the neck, she leaned in the direction of the sand - sideways and down, and in another blink, she felt a light thud as King's feet hit the sand. He snorted.

She slid off his side, knees weak and wobbly. Her eyes were wide open but she could not see anything in particular. With an audible gasp, she sucked in a lungful of air and gratefully felt the flat ground as it supported her weight underfoot. 

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If you liked this post, check these ones out!

Olympics On the Mind – A Personal Opinion: My thoughts just before the 2012 Olympics set underway.

14 Reasons to Love Horseback Riding: There must be hundreds of reasons why people enjoy horses and horseback riding. Here are fourteen.

Top 10 Annoying Riding Habits: Enjoy this tongue-in-cheek list coming from the opposite perspective – things NOT to do while riding!

Horseback Riders Do Nothing Anyway! Well, at least, that’s what “they” say. But we know differently, don’t we?

Olympics on the Mind – A Personal View

Traditionally, I've always felt a strong affiliation with the idea of the Olympics and Paralympics, mostly because of my love for sports in general, and especially for the determination and perseverance that I know athletes must have to pursue in order to be at the top of the world in their skill area.

I am also fully aware of the business that IS Olympics, the political repercussions, the expenditures that could be so needed in other areas and the big business behind it all that is interested only in the bottom line (as evidenced by the Duracell "sponsorship" in the videos below).

Having said all that, the allure of the Games is nevertheless attractive and appealing. The simple fact that venues such as the Olympics and Paralypmics feed the dreams and aspirations of athletes to push themselves to the limit, not only physically - but mentally, emotionally, financially and probably in many other ways that we, the audience, can only begin to understand - is what draws me to take the events so seriously.

We see the moments of the main event, but there is so much more that goes into the day-to-day, year-to-year path.

Having ridden (literally!) side-by-side with some of the top riders in my area, I have seen the regular effort, persistence, and sometimes downright stubborness that is essential to get back on the horse (pun intended) - all to culminate in this Olympic "dream" that they are now a part of.

I watch and marvel at the perseverance of people who touch me at the core of my being because of their:

- tenacity.

- determination.

- and probably most importantly, because of the disciplined raw energy they put into their chosen field of endeavour.

It makes you think, what would the world be like if everyone put just a percentage of that intensity and devotion into something we feel equally attracted to?

Don’t miss a single issue of Horse Listening! If you like what you are reading, become a subscriber and receive updates when new Horse Listening articles are published!  Your email address will not be used on any other distribution list. Subscribe to Horse Listening by Email

If you enjoyed the above post, you might also like:

A Recipe for Living: If life were a recipe, what would it look like?

Softly Determined – A Poem: I found this one on the Internet long ago, with no indication of the author. However, it has stayed with me, blending intensity with passion, being so eloquent and yet knowledgeable about the “path”.

Starting to Breathe Again: Written before Hickstead’s untimely passing, this post described what it felt like to watch his $1 million CN International winning round.

Because of Horses: What has changed in your life because of horses?

Softly Determined – A Poem

I found this one on the Internet long ago, with no indication of the author.*

However, it has stayed with me, blending intensity with passion, being so eloquent and yet knowledgeable about the "path". I have personally gone through many of the moments that are described here, and so it has touched me deeply, and been an anchor through my growth as a rider. Enjoy!

* Edited to add: The author was found (see comments below)! Thank you for writing this beautiful poem, Bernie!

 

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Soft Determination

So we: make haste slowly; try harder gently; are softly determined.

The ideal we desire is one of dynamic harmony,
with aids telepathic in their subtlety.

Towards that goal,
our aids should speak in whispers rather than shouts.

The horse is the partner whose emphasis includes strength;
the rider should not emphasize this.
So beware the clenched jaw of the rider,
showing the strain of excess muscular effort, trying too hard.

Clearer communication is not usually stronger muscular effort,
but more correct and focussed effort.
Finesse, and the sweat of an iron will,
rather than the sweat of iron muscles.

As we progress in riding,
some muscles grow stronger - our legs, our abdominals -
but our real strength comes from inside,
our wish for harmony,
our desire to move as one with the horse.

So we:

make haste slowly;
try harder gently;
are softly determined.

BK4Leg

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Ready for something completely different? If you liked what you read here, you might be interested in the new Horse Listening Practice Sessions. 

This is NOT a program where you watch other people's riding lessons. Start working with your horse from Day 1.

Click here to read more and to join one of the most complete programs on the Internet!

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Horse Listening Book 4
Click to learn more.

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – Book 4: 20-Minute Exercises To Add Variety To Your Riding Routine

Available as an eBook or paperback.

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https://www.horselistening.com2012/09/29/caught/