awareness – Horse Listening

4 Mutual Grooming Strategies For Your Life

It's mutual grooming madness back at the ranch! Every morning, as soon as they are turned out, Roya and Cyrus take many moments not to munch on the freshly growing grass, but to say a good morning "Hi" through a wonderfully peaceful mutual grooming ritual. I imagine that they are celebrating the finally warm weather and blanket-less mornings in the summer sunshine.

After many minutes of massage, they finally wander off to graze the long growing grass in their pasture. While I watch them absorbed in their blissful morning, I think of all the different ways we could follow suit and metaphorically partake in mutual grooming through our own paths in life. Here are four ways we can mutual groom (without actually doing it)!

1. Pay It Forward

We often hear about paying it forward, and although it really is a cliche and maybe the fad of the day, the heart of the saying is valid enough to be included in our mutual grooming session. Because if, just for a moment, we could set aside our needs, desires and wills, and go ahead and do something nice/supportive/encouraging/helpful for someone, without thinking about how it should or could affect us, the world would simply be a better place.

Next time you see an opportunity, do something kind for someone - not for any personal reward, but just because the moment arises and you can.

2. Helping In A Time of Need

We can't do everything all alone. Some things just need a friend (or two) to give us the boost we need.

Have you ever watched horses start their mutual grooming? One horse inches up a little at a time and takes a little fur-fluffing tooth-touch on the other horse's wither area. This is just the invitation - do you want to scratch my back if I scratch yours? Usually, the other horse enjoys the nibble so much that they start edging their body sideways up to the first. One nibble becomes two and soon enough, they're both going at it in a sort of rhythmical exchange. First one, then the other, back and forth. In the case of my two horses, this can go on for minutes on end. If one stops, the other starts up again!

Helping others is exactly the same process. First, you ask - are you willing to give me a hand? Hopefully, they reach out to you and give you the support you need. Then, you do the same for them when necessary. It's a win-win!

Collaboration is one of the most important social skills - not only for friendship but also for every avenue of life. Next time you notice someone needs help, don't walk away. Turn to her and offer a lending hand.

3. Including Others

In general, horses that mutual groom get along well with each other. They socialize with most members of the herd, but they tend to seek the special one out when back scratching is in order. In a sense, they get a feeling of belonging in their own mini-herd.

We all have a need to feel included, especially when it comes to people we like or admire. In our hectic rush here-there-work-home-can't-pause-for-a-moment-to-catch-your-breath... stopping for a few minutes to include someone in a conversation can go a long way to making meaningful and lasting human connections. If you notice someone off on her own, invite her to join your group. Involve her in your activities. You'll be glad you did!

4. Lend a Listening Ear

I can watch horses mutual groom all day. Besides the soothing rhythm of their ministrations, I can see the interaction that goes on within the grooming. First, one horse nibbles, then the other. It goes on like a tooth-filled dance - first him, then her, then him, then her. They take turns. They contribute.

When your friend needs to say something, just stop. Look her in the eyes and give her your attention. Even just being there to lend a listening ear might make a huge difference in someone's life. If you can reach beyond listening and respond to her concerns, you can help her problem-solve through a troubled time, or give her some insight she might not have ever thought of.

When you think about it, mutual grooming can be interpreted as a significant act of generosity. If we would just take some notes from the Book of Equine, surely we could each make positive, lasting impact on other people's lives.

What does mutual grooming represent to you? Write your comment below.

Don’t miss a single issue of Horse Listening! If you like what you are reading, become a subscriber and receive updates when new Horse Listening articles are published! Your email address will not be used on any other distribution list. Subscribe to Horse Listening by Email

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Available as an eBook or paperback.

What’s Your Stickability Factor?

buck — Photo Credit: NBanaszak Photography

When your horse decides to express himself, do you ride it out? Or do you panic?

Of course, we'd all like to say that we can just float along while the horse shakes, rattles and rolls (the equine version) but it does stand true that stickability is probably one of the strongest determining factors of how well you can work with your horse rather than against him. Without being able to ride through a bobble, you will almost likely always be at the very least, left behind, and at the worst, left without (a horse)!

Where do you fit on this scale? The higher the number, the farther you can go in helping your horse through difficult situations.

0 - No stickability at all

If we aren't at this level now, we definitely were at the beginning of our riding careers. So all of us should know what it feels like to not be able to stick around. It's not a good feeling. The smallest hiccup, and we get to kiss dirt. Not only does it hurt, but it's also very humiliating. Aside from that, it teaches a young horse to lose confidence in the rider, and it plain scares the older, more educated horse - imagine that the horse is doing what he knows he's supposed to do, and before he knows it, off pops the rider!

All kidding aside, hopefully, you will go through this stickability level quickly. If you find you are falling off at any unexpected moment, you probably need to be working on your seat.

1 - Sticks to the horse - sometimes

You will eventually get to a point where you can follow the small misstep/deek/stop/start. This is when your confidence begins to build. Now, if your horse does something unexpected, you can move almost fast enough to right yourself if you lean too far. You can sit through a small buck if the horse happens to go straight and bucks only once. You can grab onto a fistful of mane and drag your body back into the saddle. How many of us have gone through this?

2 - Sticks more often than not

At Level 2, you are beginning to be able to take on more of a challenge. You can now sit through several bucks as long as they aren't too big, wild or sideways. You can keep a more upright body while the horse spooks. Hard starts and stops don't phase you as much. You still have that sinking feeling once in a while, if your horse slips out quickly from underneath you. You fall less often than you used to, and you're generally more sure that you can have a chance to correct the horse once the romp is over.

3 - Stickable

Ah! You have "arrived" once you reach Level 3. At this point, you are able to sit through many of your horse's inconsistencies. Although you still do fall off when something happens when you aren't expecting it, you can stay on most of the time and come through the episode with your senses intact. Not only can you stick, but you can ride well enough to recover your balance within several strides and carry on. The adrenaline you get from the almost-fall is lower in intensity and you have more control over it. If you are riding in a lesson, there is only a small disturbance of the rhythm of the ride and you can usually recover quickly enough to not lose everything you had been working on.

4- Sticks to train

The next level is to be able to stick well enough to ride out most of your horse's expressive maneuvers. This is when your riding can become more about the horse than you. Most Level 4 riders will be able to ride young horses at this stage, because they can handle most of the horse's missteps. This rider will allow a horse to make mistakes and still be there afterward.

If you get to this level, you will start to discover that you have a riding sense of humor. Things don't matter nearly as much as they used to. You will happily enjoy the horse that shows you his personality even if there is some up-and-down hops along the way. Although there are times when you might still be reactive rather than active, most of the ride is intentional and most of the time, you have enough control over your emotions that a bobble can be just that - a bobble.

5- Sticks - almost always

This is the epitome of stickability. Not only will you be able to ride out the young horse's initiatives, not only will you be able to correct the more educated horse's exuberance, but you will be so stickable that with the additional training you have had to get to this level, you will be able to actually improve the horse's way of going. You will be able to ride through problems as if they weren't problems at all. In fact, you will probably be able to stop problems from the get-go.

The only one disadvantage to being completely stickable is that although the probability of falls is drastically reduced, you still can't predict when the horse is going to fall. And if you stay on well enough, there is a chance for you to fall with him if he is the one that does the falling.

What to do

There is always going to be a certain amount of danger when riding horses. You can never eliminate the possibility of falling. However, developing your stickability factor will help you go a long way toward improving both your and your horse's level of confidence.

How can you improve your stickability factor? Work on the seat. There is no other answer.

If you can improve your seat, you can improve your balance, your timing of the aids, your core muscles, your movement with or against the horse - pretty much everything. Lunge lessons are excellent, no matter which level you are at, to help you develop confidence and allow your body to learn to do what it needs to without worrying about where the horse is going.

Everything, including stickability, begins with the seat.

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

From the first book in the Horse Listening Collection: Horse Listening, The Book

"There are many reasons why we enjoy riding horses. Maybe one of the most appealing facets of riding is the sense of freedom: freedom from our own limitations, freedom from gravity, freedom to (literally) roam the Earth. Time stands still while we have the privilege of feeling movement from the back of our four-legged friend. Riding gives us the place to just be.

Of course, there are other purposes too. Some of us revel in the challenge of learning the skills required to becoming a good team member of this unlikely duo. Riding is like no other sport or recreational pursuit simply because of the equine partner that must not only carry us, but also do so effortlessly and gracefully. As we develop our specific skill sets, we also grow as human beings in character, emotional maturity and mental acuity.

But there is one other motivation that drives some of us to persevere in the never-ending learning process that is horseback riding: improving the horse. As your own skills develop, you begin to realize that not only can you meet your own needs through riding, but also that you can even become an instrument of benefit for the horse."

And so begins the book that reflects the most important learning I have had in all of my riding years: that I want to be the best rider I can be for the sake of my horses.

This book is geared toward the rider:

- the rider's motivations

- the essential skills for the rider

- some specific strategies

- solutions to common problems

- and the results: the great horsey moments we get to experience

Along the way, you will find chapters that discuss everything from the seat to the leg aids to the reins, discussions on half-halts, imbalance, halts, straightness and more!

Special in this book are the "In The Ring" sections that give specific suggestions based on the preceding chapters. Take these to the barn to try with your own horse!

Available as an eBook or paperback.

Rarely Considered, Often Neglected: Lunging to Develop the Riding Seat

Warning: This post will discuss all things about a region we seldom talk about, never mind actually analyze! So grab a "seat" and come along for the ride...

The Seat

Riding is all about the use of the seat.

No matter how effective you think your seat is, you will likely continue to find a better/more balanced/more sophisticated way to use your seat as you develop your riding skills.

Having said that, you can start "finding" your seat right from the get-go. Before you have even learned to control the horse, you could be developing a secure seat through lunging lessons from a good instructor.

Why Bother With the Seat?

You could argue that you can give all your aids (or cues) to a horse through your hands and legs. You would of course be right - most horses could get by with a basic level of performance by listening to your intentions through your appendages. However, you would always have a sense that something is missing - something more profound and difficult to describe, because the horse will always have moments of disconnection that you won't be able to eliminate in your riding.

You might even catch a horse off-guard and have to overuse your hands to get a downward transition, turn or other maneuver.

Once you discover the true harmony that an effective seat can produce, you may agree that the seat can truly be distinguished as the core of all riding.

If you can free up your hands and legs from creating and maintaining movement, you'll uncover a source of freedom and harmony difficult to describe in words.

Developing a well-balanced and independent riding seat is the task of a lifetime.

Do You Walk, Trot and Canter With Your Seat?

When mounted on the horse, your seat bones effectively become your legs. In other words, your seat bones will do on the horse's back what your legs normally would do on the ground.

If the horse is walking, so too should your seat mirror the movement. Your inside and outside seat bones can walk along with the horse's footfalls, in rhythm, at the same time as the horse's side swings.

In trot and canter, your seat bones move together to follow the arc of the movement of the horse. The better you can release and contract your lower back and seat muscles, the easier it will be for you to follow the horse's back without bouncing against the movement.

On the Lunge

Riding on the lunge is the best way to begin the search for the effective seat. Your instructor controls the horse so you can focus on your balance and coordination. The learning is not mental - in fact, it is purely physical. If you can allow your body to move with the horse's movements, the muscle memory will develop on its own through the repetitive motion of the horse.

Don't get me wrong - it's not like you are going to sit there and let the horse do all the work! That is far from the truth.

Instead, you will be doing your best to allow the horse's movements through your body. You will quickly discover that you must tense and release your muscles, all the way from the top of your head down to your heels, in rhythm, while maintaining enough balance to not fall too far forward or too far backward! It sounds easier than it feels!

However, since you do not have to control the horse, you are free to use your hands to hold on to the pommel of the and pull yourself deeply into the front of the saddle so you can help your core muscles maintain the strength needed for a balanced posture. You can also move the arms and legs into various positions to deepen the looseness in your muscles, stretching your sides one at a time, and creating a deeper seat by moving the positions of the legs.

More advanced lunging can be accomplished through riding without stirrups.Your instructor can teach your body how to deal with sudden lurches from the horse, and even provide opportunities for non-progressive transitions such as walk to canter, where the body has to give through the lower back and seat deeply enough to allow the horse's movements to go seamlessly through you.

There is no other way to finding an effective seat than through lunging, and you will develop an independent seat much quicker than if you have to control the horse on your own. Sadly, there are few instructors who have a suitable horse (a truly steady and reliable lunging horse takes time to develop) and enough marketing clout (to talk beginning riders into going round and round in circles) for the sake of muscle memory.

But lunging is simply the most effective short-cut to becoming the best rider you can be.

Off the Lunge Line

Once off the lunge, you need to learn to control the horse with all your aids. However, thanks to all the work you did developing your muscle memory, your seat will already be willing and able to maintain your balance so you can have better control of your appendages. Because you've already ridden at the walk/trot/canter and handled the non-progressive transitions, there is little left to surprise you when the horse suddenly heads in a different direction or stops without warning. Your seat will take care of any surprises.

Time and again, you can revisit riding on the lunge to maintain or develop an ever deeper and more effective seat. The time you invest on the lunge will be recovered ten-fold through your riding career.

In fact, once you've started working on the lunge, you'll wonder why you didn't do it in the first place.

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Personally signed books available! Give the best gift for the horse lover in your life (or for yourself! ). Send me a message for more information.

From the first book in the Horse Listening Collection: Horse Listening, The Book

Riding gives us the place to just be.

And so begins the book that reflects the most important learning I have had in all of my riding years: that I want to be the best rider I can be for the sake of my horses.

This book is geared toward the rider:

- the rider's motivations

- the essential skills for the rider

- some specific strategies

- solutions to common problems

- and the results: the great horsey moments we get to experience

Available as an eBook or paperback.

Finding Your Comfortable Un-comfort in Riding

She let out a tiny squeal and from the ear-to-ear grin on her face, we knew she had finally figured out what she had to do to get her horse moving forward.

Changing the edge can result in amazing things! — Photo Credit: NBanaszak Photography

"He feels like he's floating!" she announced gleefully. We knew that was horse-speak for the feeling we all get when something goes right and we experience a new "feel". It is the kind of feeling that we are always aiming for but rarely seem to find.

We celebrated with her, knowing how difficult it can be to coordinate all your body parts to get it right that first time. She was still giggling with glee although her horse had already slowed to a stop, sensing that she couldn't keep all her aids active for much longer than a few strides.

But that first time was all she needed to go at it again.

**********

Many of us can relate to the scene above. Have you ever been in that position - the one when you finally discovered what it was that you were doing (or weren't doing) that pushed you just over the edge and gave you the breakthrough you were looking for?

Riding can be like that.

You can never become too complacent because if you are not the one spurring (pun!) yourself to newer heights, invariably, your horse will help you along!

Sometimes, people get comfortable enough to forget that they need to keep learning. At times, we might fall into the trap of believing that we are done with learning in riding.

But the truth is that the learning never stops. There is always something more, a different angle, a deeper feeling.

We can't become complacent in the training process of riding - we must ever strive for more, reach higher, try something new. (Click here to tweet that if you know what I mean.)

We must find the un-comfort in our comfort zone.

In yoga, it's called "changing your edge". First, you find the spot that starts to challenge you. Then you back off 5 percent. In this manner, you progressively reach higher while still working within your limits. You continually push yourself out of your comfort zone, but only just enough to make a small improvement.

Set your goals so that you are just THAT little bit uncomfortable.

If you stay in your comfort zone, you will always ride the same way. The same successes will arrive at your door and the same problems will continue to haunt you forever more. Even if you change horses, the same problems will rear their ugly faces again and again, for it isn't the horse that has the difficulty, but you as the rider.

It behooves us to become better riders, on a continual progressive scale that dares us to progress beyond our current means. Although goal setting is a step in that direction, the objectives themselves can get lost during the riding session if something else pops up that attracts our attention.

So it is with careful reflection that you must decide during the ride how to find that small un-comfort that will drive you to improve the horse you have that day.

Try to let go of your idea of success. Instead, focus on the process of the change you are putting into place. Instead of looking for the result, work on the movement step-by-step, and see how the result turns out. If it is not as good as you expected, don't worry. Just try again. You know then that you are still in your un-comfort zone.

If, on the other hand, the result is satisfying, then you know it's time to find the new edge. Once again, identify your (new) comfort zone, then extend it that much further. Then back off 5%. See if the horse can meet your expectations at that new "edge".

And so it goes - new goals, new un-comfort zones, new accomplishments.

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – Book 4: 20-Minute Exercises To Add Variety To Your Riding Routine

Horse Listening Book 4: 20-Minute Exercises To Add Variety To Your Riding Routine is a compilation of the best patterns that have been shared on the Horse Listening Blog. The book is divided into five sections: Warm-Ups, Left and Right, Straightness, Suppleness and Collection. Each section has specific exercises and theory based on its topic.

But there's more!

There is a Special Center Section dedicated to only Transitions - something that we can all work on throughout our riding careers. And finally, scattered throughout the book are chapters that clearly explain theory, technique and skills that can help improve the featured exercises of teach Section.

Available as an eBook or paperback.

23 Ways to Solve the Riding Problem

Got a horseback riding problem? Here are 23 ways to solve the problem.

Admit it - you've tried at least a handful of these in your time! (So have I... trust me, I have the T-shirt for many of these "solutions"!)

I'm also quite sure you can think of many other ways to solve the problem.

The message here is not that you shouldn't try some of the strategies above. Of course we should make sure that the equipment fits the horse and there is no underlying physical problem.

We should know if our horse prefers one bit over another. Without a doubt, you might need the help of a friend or a professional throughout the course of your ownership of the horse.

But in the midst of fiddling with the small things, we end up missing out on the bigger picture:

changing ourselves.

The unfortunate part of having to develop our skills is that it takes time. The learning process is slow, strewn with mistakes and less-than-perfects, and at times, even discouraging.

In order to make a true change, we have to dig deep and change our very way of interacting with the horse.

(Click here to tweet that if you agree.)

This is not the stuff that happens in a day or two. Forget instant gratification and prepare to stay for the long haul.

We have to persevere, make mistakes, try something new. We must step out of our comfort zones and use new muscles - physically and mentally.

Aside from the physical discomfort, we have to develop our internal characteristics. We learn to let things go and to forgive both our horse and ourselves. We become more humble, less demanding and more persistent. We learn all about developmental stages, both within ourselves as well as our horses.

And perhaps most importantly, we discover what it feels like to stay the course and really struggle with something difficult, seeing our way through the problems to finally finding the solutions.

Only then do we become empowered in the understanding that if we can "find" the change we need within ourselves, the horse will reward us with a positive response.

And by that time, we will be startled to realize that the problem no longer exists!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Personally signed books available! Give the best gift for the horse lover in your life (or for yourself!

). Send me a message for more information.

From the first book in the Horse Listening Collection: Horse Listening, The Book

Riding gives us the place to just be.

And so begins the book that reflects the most important learning I have had in all of my riding years: that I want to be the best rider I can be for the sake of my horses.

This book is geared toward the rider:

- the rider's motivations

- the essential skills for the rider

- some specific strategies

- solutions to common problems

- and the results: the great horsey moments we get to experience

Along the way, you will find chapters that discuss everything from the seat to the leg aids to the reins, discussions on half-halts, imbalance, halts, straightness and more!

Special in this book are the "In The Ring" sections that give specific suggestions based on the preceding chapters. Take these to the barn to try with your own horse!

Available as an eBook or paperback.

On the Use of Artificial Aids – The Method Behind the Madness

Should you use artificial aids? The quick answer: yes AND no!

Long two-inch spurs.

Super-extended flexible dressage whip.

Double bridle. Gag bridles. Twisted wire snaffles.

Hackamore or bitless bridle.

Draw reins/martingales/tie-downs/neck stretchers.

Drop or flash or figure-eight nosebands.

The list of artificial aids can be endless. Just when you think you know it all, you discover that there are new and improved "must-buy" pieces of equipment that will change the way you ride. Or will they really?

You are left wondering - which should I be using? And when do I know what I need?

The trick to using any equipment is to know why and how you should use them.

Buyer beware...

... no equipment can change your riding skills. The first two or three rides might be different as your horse adjusts to the new equipment, but in the end, your skills (or lack thereof) will shine through no matter what you do.

Don't be surprised if your horse goes back to the same ol' habits a few rides in - because if your own equitation has not changed, you will produce exactly the same results with or without the help of artificial aids.

Your horse will change for the better only after you change for the better. (Click here to tweet that if you agree.)

On the other hand, do not be afraid of artificial aids.

Many people shun the whole concept of using certain types of equipment. You can find camps of people based on the equipment they feel is acceptable or not.

Know that everything has a purpose. Often, equipment that is perceived as being harsher can in fact act in a much kinder and gentler way than initially understood.

For example, most people agree that a thicker bit is essentially "softer" than a thinner bit. The thin bit has a smaller surface area and therefore puts more pressure on the bars or tongue than a thick bit.

This may be true for many horses, until you meet a horse with a tiny, delicate mouth and small muzzle. Then the thick bit is entirely too large for the small mouth, and in fact causes discomfort by its sheer size. Put in the thinner bit and watch as the horse almost sighs with relief to have the seemingly harsher bit, simply because it fits his conformation better.

Another example: a bitless bridle sounds like it is kinder on the horse than one with a bit until you consider the nose, jaw, cheek and poll pressure action activated by use of the reins. Some horses might respond willingly to that type of squeezing while others would find it intolerable when compared to a bit in the mouth.

There are similar examples for any equipment you can think of. What seems harsh for one horse is what another horse really needs and does well in.

Why should equipment be used?

If your answer is to make the riding process easier on the horse, then you are on the right track.

If the equipment makes the ride safer for you, it can be used. Safety is always number one.

If the horse is young or being retrained by an experienced rider, the use of equipment can be very handy in teaching the horse what is expected quickly and efficiently. In the right hands, equipment can bring clarity to a situation. It can reduce fuss and confusion and point the horse in the right direction.

If you can be lighter and clearer with your aids, then that is the true purpose of equipment.

When not to use equipment

Simply put, equipment should not be intended to hurt/punish/intimidate/force a horse into obedience.

It should not be used to cover up rider inadequacies. Sometimes, it is much more beneficial to struggle through the learning process without specialized equipment in order to achieve better riding skills.

In the end, how the equipment is used is more important that what is used.

As always, the hands and other aids at the end of the equipment are what really differentiate it from being kind and purposeful or harsh and intimidating. Experienced riders can make a delicate instrument out of the seemingly harshest equipment.

Where do you begin?

In general, if you have complete control over your own natural aids (leg aids, seat, hands, weight), you are adequately prepared to introduce new equipment into your program. In contrast, if you still have trouble with your aids, any equipment will multiply the severity of your messages.

The horse's needs will be another factor in determining the use of equipment. Depending on your point of development as a rider, some equipment may help the horse develop muscling quicker and easier than you can with your natural aids. Specialized equipment may make your messages softer and clearer so there is less guess work required by the horse. In all cases, if your horse goes better in the equipment and seems happier, you know you are on the right track.

When you begin using unfamiliar equipment, be sure to have educated, watchful eyes mentoring you through the process so you can learn correctly from the beginning. Your instructor will be able to help you decide if it is time for you to learn how to use new equipment.

Be prepared to have to learn to use the new equipment in the same way that you have learned to use your own natural aids. There may be discomfort and confusion at the beginning while you learn to manipulate the equipment and use it to communicate to the horse. It may take the horse some time to adjust. Through it all, work patiently and with clear regard for the horse. Listen closely to the feedback you receive and make your decisions accordingly.

The bottom line(s)...

... watch and learn from more experienced riders - how and why do they use their equipment and what does it do for the horse?

... how does the horse react?

... get help when trying new equipment.

... listen to your horse!

Have you used "artificial aids" in your riding and what has been your experience with them?

Want to advertise your business on Horse Listening? Click here for more info.

horse logos 1

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Available as an eBook or paperback.

For more articles, see below:

When Do You Start Riding Your Horse? This question was being posed to me by a very respected and horse-wise mentor one day long ago, early in my riding development.

How To Be An Active Horseback Rider (a.k.a. Riding With Intention): What do you do when your ride isn’t going as planned? How do you respond when your horse scoots out from under you, spooks at the horse-killing object, or flat out ignores you?

When “Good Enough” Just Isn’t Good Enough In Horseback Riding: We come up with all sorts of excuses to explain why we don’t want to or can’t get past the problem.

Too Good to be True? Finding Your Horse’s “Happy Place”: Did you know that through riding, you can help your horse achieve a happy, content outlook on life? Sounds ridiculously far-fetched? Too good to be true?

Dark Room Doors and Dressage

Picture a Dark Room

Lights out - and you are standing in the center. You cannot see a thing. Your outstretched arms indicate that there is space in front of you. Although you can walk around and grope into the space ahead of you, the darkness prevents you from knowing which way you turn.

During my most intense schooling period, learning to ride was just like being in the Dark Room. There I was, in a bubble of "darkness", which represented the new riding skill I was trying to find. All I could do was grope around, trying to discover the elusive "feel" that I somehow knew was there.

Luckily, as horseback riders, we have instructors guiding us, showing us, describing feel, and giving feedback. So in that Dark Room of Learning to Ride, I did have my instructor pointing me (sometimes literally!) in the right direction.

I remember the first time I found my first "feel".

It was like reaching ahead in the darkness, and discovering a door in front of me. The initial incident was like I'd opened the door and taken a peek inside. The lights were on! I could see!

And then I stepped back abruptly into the darkness. Finding that feel the second time was once again an elusive undertaking. Admittedly, this time, it was easier to find the door. Instead of turning around myself in unknowing circles, I had a better idea of which way to step, and soon enough, there was the door and then the room with the lights on.

And so this was my progress through the learning process of riding. As I learned which way to move, I was able to achieve a feel sooner and easier and one day, with efficiency.

There were more doors to discover!

Then came the second door/skill, the third, the fourth. I realized that there were so many doors - unlimited actually - that I could source out. Interestingly, listening to different instructors opened other doors. As the years progressed, opening the old doors became a simple task, while finding new doors was just as challenging as finding that first so long ago.

Then came the day that I discovered doors behind the doors! Yup, that's right. I'd discovered the layers of learning that resided beyond the initial stages of each skill.

Every movement you learn as a horseback rider has infinite levels of understanding and ability.

(Click here to tweet that.)

As you become proficient at one skill, you realize that there is ever more to develop. The skills interweave and intermingle. Becoming better in one area suddenly translates into improvement in other areas. Unbeknownst to you, your sitting trot improved while you were working on hind end engagement!

And so it goes. You learn, you realize what you don't know, and you learn some more. The path is long and wide and ever developing.

And THIS is what makes horseback riding such a strong parallel to living itself!

Do you have a similar story about the learning process in riding?

From A Whisper To A Scream: How loud should your aids really be?

We ask ourselves this question repeatedly. Should we be "loud" in our aids, or should we be working as softly as we can in hopes that our horse can respond to lighter and more refined aids?

The answer is not simple. To determine the strength level of your aids, you need to know several factors that go into making your decision:

What is the educational level of the horse? If you are riding a young or fairly inexperienced horse, the horse will need a lot more "support" from you than a more mature and developed horse.

You need to, in effect, be there for him. He will likely be less balanced and responsive than you would like, and your aids will need to be strong and secure enough to clearly explain to him what you want. You do not need to be "punishing", but the amount of strength you put into the movements may be more than you think you should be using.

How sensitive is your horse? The sensitive horses generally do not do well with a "shouting" aid. They are the ones that often resist the aids. They get tense, unresponsive, or outright demonstrate their displeasure through "disobedience" such as kicking out, bucking or even head shaking.

For this type of horse, you really need to "zone in" to your own body language and be absolutely clear on your expectations. Being sensitive, your horse might be over-reactive to your aids in the first place, so you have to be sure to not be too overbearing yet absolutely clear so as not to confuse. Be careful to be firm and clear, but at the same time, look for every excuse you can to be light and respectful. The trick is that you need to be so balanced as to be "on" with your aids all the time without increasing the volume. Sensitive horses do best when there is consistency and clarity. This can be very challenging for a rider.

Analyze your horse's conformation. Believe it or not, your horse's conformation plays a large part in the use of your aids. If your horse is built "downhill", he will probably always have difficulty lifting up through the forehand, and will likely always need support from your aids to be able to maintain his balance in a way that keeps him moving correctly and staying sound through the years. If you are riding a thicker, larger horse, chances are, you might need to be "louder" in your aids to get the same results that you would from a smaller horse. If the horse is built for his job, you might be amazed at how light you can be to get phenomenal movement.

Analyze your horse's previous training. If you are riding the horse after someone else has ridden him, you may have to adjust your aids to the level that the horse is expecting, or blueprinted at, by the previous rider. You might start with the level that is sufficient to be clear enough for the horse and work toward the lighter level that you want to achieve.

How does your horse feel today? Like people, horses change moods and levels of inspiration from one day to the next. On a windy, fresh day, your horse might be enthusiastic and even a touch over-excited. On a hot, humid day, your horse may not be so inspired and would rather be having a sun bath than working in the heat. In each case, you will need to adjust the strength of your aids.

What is your level of training? This one must be said! If you are a beginner rider, your aids will be executed in a very different manner than those of a more experienced rider. You will have to develop the level of coordination needed to be able to become lighter over time. Lightness does not mean you simply let go of all your aids and hope for the best (in fact, an educated horse might be offended by that)! Light aids are very difficult to acquire and even harder to execute. It all comes down to experience and education.

So to answer the question: it all depends! You have to be the judge, and know how to read in between your horse's lines.

The difficulty here is that on different days, the same horse may require a "different" rider. You must step up to the challenge, and be willing to change your "style" to suit your horse. Many horses sigh with relief when they discover that their rider knows what she wants and is willing to put the work in to be clear and consistent.

In the meantime, you are always seeking the ultimate lightness of aids. You are always seeking the moment when you and your horse "become one", moving in harmony, balance and lightness. It will come sooner with some horses than others. The main goal is for you to enjoy what each horse offers each day, in the best way that you can.

So, how do you decide how "loud" you need to be in your aids?

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Why Bother With the Seat?

Do You Walk, Trot and Canter With Your Seat?

On the Lunge

Off the Lunge Line

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Riding can be like that.

Set your goals so that you are just THAT little bit uncomfortable.

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – Book 4: 20-Minute Exercises To Add Variety To Your Riding Routine

Got a horseback riding problem? Here are 23 ways to solve the problem.

changing ourselves.

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Should you use artificial aids? The quick answer: yes AND no!

Buyer beware...

On the other hand, do not be afraid of artificial aids.

Why should equipment be used?

When not to use equipment

Where do you begin?

The bottom line(s)...

Want to advertise your business on Horse Listening? Click here for more info.

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding

Every movement you learn as a horseback rider has infinite levels of understanding and ability.

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Don’t miss a single issue of Horse Listening!

Buy the books for many more riding tips! Horse Listening Book Collection.

Finally! The Ultimate Rider-Centered Program!

Buy the book for many more riding tips! Horse Listening – The Book: Stepping Forward to Effective Riding